Dealing with the fitnah (temptation) of women

I
have read the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him), “I have not left behind me any fitnah (temptation) more
harmful to men than women.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5096; Muslim,
2740.

My question is: how can I save myself from this temptation, when I
see it everywhere – in the street, on TV, on the internet, at work…?.



Praise be to Allaah.


Allaah
has created man in a world of trials and tests, and He has made
Paradise the abode of His friends and beloved ones, who preferred His
pleasure over their own and preferred obedience to Him over their
physical comfort. And He has made Hell the abode of those among His
slaves who disobey Him and preferred their own whims and desires to the
pleasure of their Lord. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):


“Such is the Paradise which We shall give
as an inheritance to those of Our slaves who have been Al-Muttaqoon (the pious)”


[Maryam 19:63]


“But as for him who feared standing before
his Lord, and restrained himself from impure evil desires and lusts.


Verily, Paradise will be his abode”


[al-Naaz’i’aat 79:40-41]


And He says concerning the people of Hell
(interpretation of the meaning):


“Then,
there has succeeded them a posterity who have given up As-Salaat (the
prayers) [i.e. made their Salaat (prayers) to be lost, either by not
offering them or by not offering them perfectly or by not offering them
in their proper fixed times] and have followed lusts. So they will be
thrown in Hell”
[Maryam 19:59]


And He says (interpretation of the
meaning):


“That
shall be their recompense, Hell; because they disbelieved and took My
Ayaat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.)
and My Messengers by way of jest and mockery”


[al-Kahf 18:106]


“Then for him who transgressed all bounds,
(in disbelief, oppression and evil deeds of disobedience to Allaah).


And preferred the life of this world (by
following his evil desires and lusts),


Verily, his abode will be Hell-fire”


[al-Naazi’aat 79:37-39]


So the Muslim must strive to worship Allaah
and keep away from that which angers Allaah, for Allaah will not cause the reward the one who does good to be lost:


“As
for those who strive hard in Us (Our Cause), We will surely guide them
to Our paths (i.e. Allaah’s religion — Islamic Monotheism). And verily,
Allaah is with the Muhsinoon (good-doers)”


[al-‘Ankaboot 29:69 – interpretation of
the meaning]


One
of the fitnahs (temptations) with which we are tested is the fitnah of
women, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
“I have not left behind me any fitnah (temptation) more harmful to men
than women.” There follow some of the methods by which we can avoid
this temptation. We ask Allaah to set the affairs of the Muslims
straight.


1 – Faith in Allaah.


Faith in Allaah and fear of Allaah provide a
safety valve and protect a person against committing haraam actions and following his own whims and desires.


If
the believer becomes aware that Allaah is always watching and if he
ponders the meanings of His names and attributes, such as the
All-Knowing, the All-Hearing, the All-Seeing, the Watchful, the
Reckoner, the Preserver, the All-Encompassing, that will generate fear
of Him in secret and in public, and will put a stop to disobedience
towards Allaah, and will reduce the strength of desire that leads many
people to commit haraam actions.


2 – Lowering the gaze and avoiding looking
at haraam things


The
gaze can generate bad thoughts in the heart, which then lead to ideas
and then to desires, then to will and resolve, and then inevitably to
doing haraam things. Think about the meaning of this verse which makes
a connection between the first steps towards haraam and the end result.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):


“Tell
the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden
things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts).
That is purer for them. Verily, Allaah is All-Aware of what they do”


[al-Noor 24:30]


Ibn
Katheer said: “This is a command from Allaah to His believing slaves,
to lower their gaze and avoid looking at that which is forbidden to
them so that they only look at that which they are permitted to look
at. If it so happens that a person’s gaze accidentally falls upon
something haraam, he should turn his gaze away from it quickly.


3 – Warding off evil thoughts


Bad
thoughts pose a danger to the heart… If a person dwells on them and
does not push them away, they will develop into an idea, then into will
and resolve, then this will inevitably lead to haraam actions. Beware
of dwelling on passing thoughts; rather what you must do is to ward
them off and crowd them out with good thoughts.


The treatment, then, is to ward off these
passing thoughts and keep yourself busy with beneficial thoughts.


4 – Marriage


It
was narrated that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood said: The Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “O young men, whoever among you
can afford it, let him get married, and whoever cannot, let him fast,
for it will be a shield for him.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5065.


5 – Fasting for those who cannot afford to
get married


– because of the hadeeth quoted above, in
which it says, “…and whoever cannot, let him fast, for it will be a shield for him.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5065.


Al-Qurtubi said:


The less a person eats, the weaker his desire
becomes, and the weaker his desire is, the less sins he commits.


6 – Keeping away from bad companions.


The
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A man will
follow the way of his close friends, so let each one of you look at who
he takes as a close friend.” Narrated by Abu Dawood, 8433; classed as
hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood, 4046.


7 – Keeping away from places of
temptation.


It
is obvious that we are living in a society that is filled with
temptation – media of all types, magazines, flirting in the
marketplaces, satellite TV, the internet, etc… So you have to flee from
all of these in order to keep your religious commitment sound.


8 – Do not make your houses graves.


Make
your house a reminder of obedience, not of sin. If a room is connected
to sin for example, that will make a person commit sin repeatedly,
because every time he enters that room he will remember the sin and may
be provoked to commit the sin again. So he should make his room and his
house a reminder of obedience to Allaah, so when he enters he sees the
Mus-haf which he reads, and he remembers praying qiyaam al-layl for
Allaah, and the regular Sunnah prayers that he offers in this room.
Doing a lot of acts of worship in your house will make a connection in
your mind between the house and doing good deeds, so you will do more
and will think less of sin, and the calls of desire will grow less.


9 – Trying to make the most of your time in worshipping and obeying Allaah.


Time
is one of the great blessings that Allaah has bestowed upon His slaves,
but there are many who are not making the most of it. It was narrated
that Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Two blessings which
many people do not make the most of: good health and spare time.”
Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6412.


See also question no.
3234.


10 – Remembering the blessings of the Hereafter.


Particularly
appropriate in this context is remembering al-hoor al-‘iyn and their
attributes, whom Allaah has prepared for those who are patient and
steadfast in avoiding sin. This can help the Muslim to look at these
transient haraam pleasures which only lead to regret and loss.


We ask Allaah to help us to avoid temptation,
both obvious and hidden. Praise be to Allaah the Lord of the Worlds.


Islam Q&A

Salamu a'laikum wa rahmatulahi wa barakatahu

Jazakallahu khair, may Allah reward sister for sharing this beneficial knowledge.

Subhanallah; i remember listening to this lecture once, the brother was referring to the actions of the shytaan, in particular how it creeps upon people. The brother giving the lecture was emphasizing to halt the small steps of the shytaan; thats why Allah orders us to lower our gaze first, not zina.

One more other thing, this is relevant to this article. One of my friends; wanted to get married so he stopped looking at non-muslim girls and began looking at muslim girls for marriage. It started like that for a couple of weeks, during this time he realized he is not going anywhere so he thought of an other idea, which was to start looking at non-muslim girls, so that he could convey islam to them etc then eventually getting married. This process that he went through seems short as im trying to describe to you guys but it took him around 6 months to realize that his back at point A, which is looking at any girl. The point of this story is emphasizing the earlier point, the shytaan did not immediately whisper to him to go back to the way he was but it took him 6 months.

may Allah keep us steadfast

JuzaakaAllahu khair ukhti.

A remainder for all.

I heard that some scholars would even not think about the hoor il ayn and Jannah cos they thought that it was a part of following there desires and what i found interesting here was that they only did that so they weren't tempted to do what they desired..And one of the first things that people do when desire something is think about it and they avoided that.
Anyways i hope i made sense..Just recently i heard of the phrase "divorcing the world" basically what it means is separating yourself from the world of some sort. Okay i didn't entirely get the meaning but it's quite obvious